Bananas (1971)
-You have a chance to die for freedom.
-Yes, well, freedom is wonderful. On the other hand, if you're dead, it's a tremendous drawback to your sex life.
-You are accused of killing over a thousand people in your term of office... of torturing hundreds of women and children. How do you plead?
-Guilty... but with an explanation.
“We fell in love. Well, I fell in love... she just stood there.”
-You have a chance to die for freedom.
-Yes, well, freedom is wonderful. On the other hand, if you're dead, it's a tremendous drawback to your sex life.
-You are accused of killing over a thousand people in your term of office... of torturing hundreds of women and children. How do you plead?
-Guilty... but with an explanation.
“We fell in love. Well, I fell in love... she just stood there.”
QUOTES
"I can't listen to that much Wagner. I start getting the urge to conquer Poland."
"I don't want to achieve immortality through my work; I want to achieve immortality through not dying. I don't want to live on in the hearts of my countrymen; I want to live on in my apartment."
"Not only is there no God, but try getting a plumber on weekends."
"Money is better than poverty, if only for financial reasons."
"What if everything is an illusion and nothing exists? In that case, I definitely overpaid for my carpet."
"It's not that I'm afraid to die, I just don't want to be there when it happens."
"The lion and the calf shall lie down together but the calf won't get much sleep."
"What if nothing exists and we're all in somebody's dream? Or what's worse, what if only that fat guy in the third row exists?"
"I feel sex is a beautiful thing between two people. Between five, it's fantastic."
"I think people should mate for life, like pigeons or Catholics."
"I think universal harmony is a pipedream and it may be more productive to focus on more modest goals, like a ban on yodelling."
"I took a speed reading course and read War And Peace in 20 minutes. It involves Russia."
"I'm a practicing heterosexual, although bisexuality immediately doubles your chances for a date on Saturday night."
“to be published posthumously, or after [my] death, whichever comes first”: “I am plagued by doubts. What if everything is an illusion and nothing exists? In which case, I definitely overpaid for my carpet. If only God would give me some clear sign! Like making a large deposit in my name in a Swiss bank."
"There's an old joke about a prizefighter in the ring. He's getting his brains beat out. And his mother's in the audience, and she's watching him getting beaten up. There's a priest next to her and she says, 'Father, pray for him.' And the priest says, 'I will, but if he could punch, it would help.' "
"I’m very proud of my gold pocket watch. My grandfather, on his deathbed, sold me this watch."
“Sex without love is a meaningless experience, but as far as meaningless experiences go its pretty damn good.”
“There are two types of people in this world, good and bad. The good sleep better, but the bad seem to enjoy the waking hours much more.”
“I hate reality but it's still the best place to get a good steak.”
“I will not eat oysters. I want my food dead. Not sick. Not wounded. Dead.”
“How can I believe in God when just last week I got my tongue caught in the roller of an electric typewriter?”
“There is no question that there is an unseen world. The problem is, how far is it from midtown and how late is it open?”
"It's like Vegas. You're up, you're down, but in the end the house always wins. Doesn't mean you didn't have fun."
" I plagiarized most of the letter from James Joyce. You probably wondered why all the references to Dublin."
"Love is the answer. But while you're waiting for the answer, sex raises some pretty good questions."
-Are you a coward? Or a worm? Or a yellow-belly?
-No... but keep going.
-Are you religious?
-Sort of, but my people pray in a different language, so I never really knew what they were saying.
"I can't listen to that much Wagner. I start getting the urge to conquer Poland."
"I don't want to achieve immortality through my work; I want to achieve immortality through not dying. I don't want to live on in the hearts of my countrymen; I want to live on in my apartment."
"Not only is there no God, but try getting a plumber on weekends."
"Money is better than poverty, if only for financial reasons."
"What if everything is an illusion and nothing exists? In that case, I definitely overpaid for my carpet."
"It's not that I'm afraid to die, I just don't want to be there when it happens."
"The lion and the calf shall lie down together but the calf won't get much sleep."
"What if nothing exists and we're all in somebody's dream? Or what's worse, what if only that fat guy in the third row exists?"
"I feel sex is a beautiful thing between two people. Between five, it's fantastic."
"I think people should mate for life, like pigeons or Catholics."
"I think universal harmony is a pipedream and it may be more productive to focus on more modest goals, like a ban on yodelling."
"I took a speed reading course and read War And Peace in 20 minutes. It involves Russia."
"I'm a practicing heterosexual, although bisexuality immediately doubles your chances for a date on Saturday night."
“to be published posthumously, or after [my] death, whichever comes first”: “I am plagued by doubts. What if everything is an illusion and nothing exists? In which case, I definitely overpaid for my carpet. If only God would give me some clear sign! Like making a large deposit in my name in a Swiss bank."
"There's an old joke about a prizefighter in the ring. He's getting his brains beat out. And his mother's in the audience, and she's watching him getting beaten up. There's a priest next to her and she says, 'Father, pray for him.' And the priest says, 'I will, but if he could punch, it would help.' "
"I’m very proud of my gold pocket watch. My grandfather, on his deathbed, sold me this watch."
“Sex without love is a meaningless experience, but as far as meaningless experiences go its pretty damn good.”
“There are two types of people in this world, good and bad. The good sleep better, but the bad seem to enjoy the waking hours much more.”
“I hate reality but it's still the best place to get a good steak.”
“I will not eat oysters. I want my food dead. Not sick. Not wounded. Dead.”
“How can I believe in God when just last week I got my tongue caught in the roller of an electric typewriter?”
“There is no question that there is an unseen world. The problem is, how far is it from midtown and how late is it open?”
"It's like Vegas. You're up, you're down, but in the end the house always wins. Doesn't mean you didn't have fun."
" I plagiarized most of the letter from James Joyce. You probably wondered why all the references to Dublin."
"Love is the answer. But while you're waiting for the answer, sex raises some pretty good questions."
-Are you a coward? Or a worm? Or a yellow-belly?
-No... but keep going.
-Are you religious?
-Sort of, but my people pray in a different language, so I never really knew what they were saying.